she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
