why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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