when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
