I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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