I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
