Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
