I wanna passion pit in your ass
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
