You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
