there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
