apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
