we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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