I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
