I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
