I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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