Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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