I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
