so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
