elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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