I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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