"it" just moved
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
