I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
