dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
