He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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