I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
