She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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