My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
bring money and cleavage
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
