Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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