it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize