So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
