If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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