He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
