She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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