the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
