He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it was like his penis was on wheels.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
