Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize