I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
