From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
