so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
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Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
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Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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