what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
