oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
