You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Your cock deserves a montage
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
