I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize