Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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