I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
