I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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