I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
