She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
