No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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