I think i peed on brittanys purse
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
