I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
