He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
