You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize