i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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