So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
