Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
