So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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