end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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