Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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