areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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