Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Did we literally take a cab across the street
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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