in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
