it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
