When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
